Who wants to ask me questions while I'm ever so slightly intoxicated?

Go on, you know you want to.

So, as most of you here are aware I've been working on creating a website for Rpattz (Robert Pattinson) and TStizz (Tom Sturridge) for quite a few months now on and off and I'm proud to say I've now reached the stage where I need content to put into it! I've already begun to add pictures to the gallery, but what I'd really like is any of the following:

• Encounters you've had with Tom and Rob (pictures taken with the boys even better! I can edit you out of the images if you wish, and they will all be tagged to the website exclusively)
• Pictures of Tom/Rob (candids, photoshoots etc. anything and everything you have)
• Quotes! I want some Rob and Tom quotes, you know our guys are fond (especially Bert) of saying the most delicious and frequently awkward things.

If you could send the pictures and encounters through to my site email that would be EPIC:

webmaster@tomandrob.net

:') Thank you my lovelies!

FYT:

I'm feeling a little paranoid.

I have this feeling I've upset someone but I don't know why or how to fix it because I'm actually not all that sure I have upset them, part of me thinks it might just be an offshoot of the way I'm feeling right now on this medication that makes me think so but either way -- the sensation is le suck. I swear that all I really want to do is write characters that I love and have great affection for but somehow I seem to keep getting swept up in things totally beyond my control and I can't lay blame anywhere because for one thing, I lack the details to do that and for another, well, I wouldn't feel right judging on situations that had/have nothing to do with me.

I've started organizing chapters for my bella/buffy crossover fanfic which, ngl, is rather thrilling to me. So far I've narrowed down what my prologue and the first three chapters should cover and I'm planning on writing up the rest today if I get the chance. What's really fun is that there is a dynamic of science intertwined with the magic about how Buffy winds up in Forks and it's given me the opportunity to create an entirely original character as the tie-in between the two worlds.

I'm excitement, ya'll~

Website wise, I think I've solved my design dilemma though I have to shout out thanks to everyone who offered me help while I was panicking. I appreciate it so, so much guys. :')

Does anyone feel like doing me a huge favor? I had a design I'd started working on for my Tom and Rob fan site and I suffered a computer glitch and lost a lot of the data I was coding. I'm feeling very downtrodden about it RN, not even gonna lie. Does anyone feel up to the task of designing a look for the site? I'd definitely be willing to pay for basically a skin for the website, a look for the image gallery (it's on coppermine) and for the forums. Though, to be honest, the gallery and forums could wait and I could probably do them later on.

But I'd really love to get the site up and going.

So, contact me if you think you could do it or know someone who might be able to help out?

Cheers!

I have this idea for a fanfic that's been buzzing around in my head for a couple of days now. Some of my older FL'ers will probably know that I'm an old hand at writing Buffy fanfic but not quite as new at the whole Twilight angle. Which isn't to say I haven't dabbled, I wrote as Carlisle for a few months and really quite enjoyed him but the fic I'm deliberating on actually centers around Bella Swan who I'm not really experienced at writing for. I know, I know, a lot of you are all, BUT SHE'S JUST A MARY SUE! but I don't think that she's precisely that. Certainly, she's the lynchpin to the book series, given it's written from her POV but Bella does actually have a very particular personality if she's written correctly. She's just so often overshadowed by the characters around her.

Anyway, the fanfic I have in mind is actually a crossover with my other long time fandom love: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Basically, it's set during New Moon / Season Three respectively of both 'verses and involves our favorite Slayer finding herself transported to Forks just after Edward has left Bella all alone. I suppose you could call it a re-write of sorts but it's more that; I see Bella in this vulnerable state, and then I see Buffy as she was just after Angel left her and BAM, here are these two women who are SO DIFFERENT outwardly in the same place all of a sudden and I think, WOW, how much would they learn from one another, honestly?

I dunno, am I hallucinating to think this might actually work? I have no idea.

Also, I've figured out how to make pretty icons:

Dirty Dancing



Tom Sturridge

Sometimes nothing makes me feel better than giving gifts.

To 8sneezes1orgasm, miazevedo and my new co-mod wowsugarpuss -- enjoy your presents, bbs!

I hope they bring you much fun times and I love you muchly.

xx

the resident do-gooder

I'm really angry right now and not even talking to my mum on the phone has made it better.

So, I ordered a pizza and a bottle of wine with my dinner. My dad followed me down to the kitchen and told me I drink too much, I shouldn't because I take anti-depressants and especially shouldn't during the week, also that drinking alone in my room was or is, I should say, bad. When I told him that I understood his concern but that he and my stepmother needed to back off this, he just looked at me as if I was being a naughty ten year old. He pressed the point and I said I just didn't want to get into it with him.

Uh, I'm TWENTY FUCKING SIX YEARS OLD.

If I want to get wasted every fucking night of the week, then excuse me but that's my own damn perogative. I need to move out of this place like LAST WEEK but of course I can't afford to yet. I know that while I'm under his roof I should obey his rules but seriously, when the hell do I get to be myself again? The only reason I drink alone is because if I drink 'in public' that is, around them I get funny looks or told I shouldn't drink so much. WTF! I feel as if I'm living in some kind of Big Brother house.

I'm starting to think they're searching my room while I'm not there.

Fuck that, I locked it. First time I've EVER felt like I had to.

I feel really unhappy right now, like I want to cry out of pure frustration. I want to be able to be myself around them but right now I just can't because apparently nothing about the actual 'me' is right by their standards.

FML.

Fuuuuuuuuu my life.

I've been so fucking preoccupied that I feel as if I have no time for anything and now I just feel BEHIND on everything and ~STRESSED~ out to boot. All I wanna do is sleep when I'm not working or studying.

D:

I miss my FL. <3

on a positive note, I wrote a poem a few weekends ago:

untitled piece from a saturday afternoon

If I could trace my existence
in the curve of your neck

or live eternal in the small slope
between shoulder-blades - tasting with my tongue
the elixir of eternity

the salt from your skin is

I think forever should not daunt me
if this be my damnation --
my fingertips navigating the globe
finding the axis
where spine ends and

the heat of your thighs pressing

down

I will want no always but to hear
the half-buried cry
our mouths seeking in the privacy of

darkness

the sweetest agony of your smile

Oh look, I'm posting in my actual journal -- shocker!

I feel like I really don't post here enough, mainly because lately I seem to be spreading my time on LJ jumping from twatlight to HHLC and in between those, running around madly trying to rationalize why it's totally okay that I'm still out of work and now in a competition to win the throne of Prom Queen at the upcoming Twilight Prom with KL and AG. I feel like I should feel silly for even entering such a contest at twenty-six but instead I find I'm oddly exhilarated by the idea of something so frivolous.

I guess I've been keeping myself busy on YouTube, making videos. Speaking of, I made another Twilight inspired video. I know, I know, I'm a little obsessed and that's bad. But I don't consider myself a twihard. Well, not in the bad sense.


So, I don't know what other interesting updates to include here aside from, well, I'm now a news poster over at robertpattinson.org which is nifty, since I spend so much time reading about the guy, I might as well put my scoping skillz to some use, Hm? And -- yeah. Nothing else to report.

Dismal, dismal gray clouds outside -- no rain, just gloom. Humph.

It's come to my attention that I'm entirely too oblivious about when men are staring at my chest. I went down the street to buy lunch (tuna bagel ftw, by the way) and it's summer-hot so I was parading my new brown dress with this sort of ruffled neck and okay, I'll admit I was wearing my push-up bra because wtf not it's comfy (DON'T JUDGE ME YOU WH0RES) but there was no make up to be seen and I was, frankly, sweating like you would not believe by the time I reached the coffee shop.

I know, HAWT, right? Pfft.

Anyway, the serving guy ----> my chest, the entire time with this goofy smile on his face like I'd find it amusing he was engaging my breasts in meaningful conversation about whether I wanted lettace or mayo on my bagel. SRSLY. Now, I have no issue with people admiring my goods but oogling the entire time and drooling in my lunch: DO NOT WANT THX.

For some reason I am a magnet for old men and creepers and never the cute bois. WHY GOD WHY?!

Random note: seasame seeds, I fucking love you but you piss me off when you get stuck in my teeth, bbs.

Nnngh.

So, when was the last time I wrote in my actual journal, ya'll? It's been too long. Whatever, though. I've had shit t'do, son, as my friend Kai frequently says to me. Lots and lots of stuff that's been going down which isn't even to mention how crazy my offline world is at the current moment and all kinds of wonderful family-orientated issues going down. I'm not sure why but it seems that as soon as one part of your life actually seems to be doing pretty nicely? Murphy's Law kicks into effect and another part falls the heck apart.

WTF, my friends, WTF.

Updates, updates, updates... uuuh, well. Still very excited about the Melbourne Twilight Con in December. I'm hoping any day now (see: Wednesday) when The Hub guys get back from NZ we might be seeing some kind of announcement RE: third guest star. I'm tamping down any urge to over excite myself regarding who it might be because I'm pretty sure it won't be El Roberto but in the same vein, I don't want to completely rule him out (although, TBH, after Mexico? I would not blame him for saying, uh GTFO).

I'm still waiting expectantly for an email about my article in Fray and keeping a watchful eye on the mailbox for my copies of the mag. It makes me all kinds of glowy to know I'll have something, somewhere in print.

I have no lovelife, so I can't exactly UPDATE that accept to say, O HAI, STILL SINGLE. D:

...BABY WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO GOOD? I want to do immoral things to that man.

Srsly, people.

I am beginning to fear that the online Twilight community has mutated and is slowly devouring itself. There seem to be some pretty outrageous acts of hating and loving going on and while I'd love to perch myself carefully on the fence, I suspect somebody at some point is going to push me over into one side or the other. So while my real life is an insane crazy OMFG DO NOT WANT place, my online haven is apparently... kind of the same.

I wonder if it's best just to bury my head in the proverbial sand and wait the storm out.

Umm, craziest stuff currently doing the rounds? That Rob is gay and/or Bi. (rolls her eyes) Oh, for the love of Buffy and Angel. Of all the cast members that I could pick to be gay? Rob is definitely not the top of my list (and not just because I want to do questionable things to him in the dark...right...). Also that some LJer is claiming to have gotten lucky with Rob a few years back and thus propegating the 'totz bisexual ya'll' rumors. While I could totally see Rob indulging in a night of sexy fun times with some random girl (let's face it, we know our boy ain't no paragon of virtue) I have trouble putting complete faith in someone's proclaimation, especially when it's blurted in a random comment online.

FYI: this is not saying I want to see photographic proof in the form of say, her underpants worn on the night of the apparent sexy time. Just... yeah. That would be a world of ew in many shapes and forms.

I'm just sayin', a little sceptism is a good thing, esp. in the Twi fandom, fo' sure.